Bringing Home Baby

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baby at home, bringing home baby, helpful, home, ministry, motherhood, new baby, post partum depression, pregnancy

I had about 3 friends have babies before I had my first, and let me tell you, I felt like such an awful friend!  I had no clue what would have been helpful for them until I had my own baby at home and some truly amazing women step up and into my new life of motherhood.  So I’ve compiled a list (of sorts) of the things that I found most beneficial to me after I brought my baby home.  There are also a few things I listed that I think will be helpful for bringing home baby #2…but those await to be proven!

What you can do for someone who just had a baby:

1. Check their house and fridge- we had rented a movie the night before and my brother returned it for us (it was a Nicolas Cage movie…glad we didn’t have to pay another $1 for it!)
2. Take note of things like milk, cereal, bread, and fruit.  Our church had us on a meal plan and members brought us dinners every other night.  That was super helpful, but just as much were the bananas my mom had left, and another friend dropping off almond milk and cereal.  The basics seemed to go quicker and I was definitely loathsome to give up my husband for a quick run to the grocery store.
3. Also, check the sink and washing machine.  My mom had done my dishes and finished laundry I had in the washer.  I hate having to wash something again because it sat in the washer too long!
4. Since this is baby #2, I think something that will be very beneficial is having people stop by to spend time with baby #1.  My Jovie is very social and very active and I know she would really love to see all “her” friends when mommy is a little preoccupied…and tired.
5. This may not work for everyone, but I loved having people over after Jovie was born.  It was nice feeling connected to community and talking with other moms and getting advice I could use right away (as opposed to all the advice I received leading up to the birth, which I needed to hear again).  A lot of new moms suffer from post partum depression-and I think if they just have someone to talk to and someone to encourage them, it could help alleviate fears and feelings of loneliness, sadness, and even failure.  Something as natural as having a baby seems like it should be followed by something just as natural–nurturing a baby.  This just isn’t the case!  Jovie would not nurse and I felt like such a bad mom-until I heard story after story from my friends about having to bottle-feed for various reasons.  They could point to their perfectly healthy and normal, well-adjusted children and alleviate my fears and failings on the spot.
6. Offer to watch baby and encourage mom to get some sleep.  Reassure her you’ll wake her up if the baby needs anything, but otherwise not to worry!  As much as I loved and needed company, sometimes they would be there the whole time my baby was napping, and I should have been napping, too.  Naps during the day come in handy when you’re up all night.
7. Don’t ask-just do.  I couldn’t argue with someone who told me “I’m doing this for you, so sit there and like it.”  Some people have a hard time letting others serve them, even if they need to be served.
8. This should be done first {and often}–the best thing you can do for a new mom is to pray for her. Pray she doesn’t get weighed down and overwhelmed by the responsibility and lack of sleep, but that she takes everything in stride, knowing every day is a gift that we are to fully enjoy and learn contentment and dependence anew.  Pray she finds the joy in every new experience and every little mundane, repeated experience, too.  Encourage her to count the little hiccups, watch the weird faces newborns make when they sleep, marvel at the tiny fingernails, and laugh at how something so ridiculously cute can be kind of gross at the same time.  Pray she takes every opportunity to lead that little life to a saving knowledge of our only hope in this life, our Savior.

bringing Jovie home from the hospital

I’d love to read about what you have experienced, either as a new mom or an encouragement to one, that was helpful (or not so helpful)!

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Gender Neutral

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gender, old-fashioned, pregnancy

I am almost 34 weeks pregnant with my second baby.  Like the first, we opted not to find out the gender.  You are probably thinking to yourself the same thing everyone says to me when I tell them we don’t know what we’re having: “Oh, I could never do that! I’d have to know!”  Aside from the one or two ultrasounds that we actually could find out the gender, it doesn’t really bother me that I don’t know.  The only reason it slightly bothered me during those ultrasounds was because the technician knew and I didn’t (but I got over that pretty fast).
Believe it or not, there are perks to not knowing:
{NECESSITIES}
With my first, I didn’t have to buy diapers or wipes for almost 6 months after she was born.  I’m still using the same bottle of baby wash (18 months later) and I have at least 3 more that I haven’t even opened.  To put this in perspective, let me tell you about a baby shower thrown for my friend.  She had over 70 women at said shower.  They got her enough pink, girly clothes to last her baby at least 6 months.  And pink blankets, burp cloths, crib sheets, toys, bibs…you get it.  Fast forward to the birth of her firstborn…son!  Surprise.  The ultrasound tech was wrong TWICE and my poor friend went through 35 of her 40 weeks of pregnancy preparing to meet a daughter.
{NAMES}
Tired of looking at Michaels and Jacobs and Olivers?  Just flip over to the other half of the book (or if you prefer browsing baby names online, click the pink link) and start wading through Sophias and Madelines and Olivias!  Unless you and your husband are one of those couples that has had baby names picked out since before they were married, not knowing the gender can be helpful.  My husband gets stuck on some pretty…unique names, usually for boys (e.g.: Peregrine, Edig, Gaius, to name a few). I indulge him as long as I can (“Peregrine? Ok, we can call him Perry, right?”) but eventually it’s nice to be able to say, “What about Melody? It could be a girl, you know!”
{NEUTRALS}
It is so nice to know that I will be able to use the same infant travel system for my next baby, boy or girl.  And the same bouncy chair, crib sheets, blankets, burp cloths, mobi, boppy, high chair, walker, etc.  Not only nice to know, it is nice on our budget!  I would recommend getting as much neutral baby gear anyway, even if you do know what you are having.  For pretty much all the same reasons.
{NATURALLY}
Knowing that all my labor pain was going to culminate in one final, squirmy surprise made all the pain worth it.  Babies are worth the pain of labor no matter what…I’m just saying it was like Christmas morning, after you’ve opened all your presents and suddenly you remember-stockings! (Am I the only one?)  All that pain and pushing and at the end you get to hear something you’ve been waiting 9 months to hear! “It’s a —!!”  I can’t tell you the joy and reward it is to hear those sweet words, whatever they end up being, and I’m privileged to be able to wait for them again.  And make all my Facebook friends wait, too.

boy or girl?

There are so few good surprises left in life.  Today’s culture is all rush, rush, rush.  Instant this and automatic that.  If you can manage it, this is one of the best lessons in patience you will ever have, and one that holds the most precious of rewards.

Cupcake Decorating

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cupcakes, discipleship

This gallery contains 7 photos.

My first {Girl’s Night In} was cupcake decorating.  I made about 3 dozen cupcakes the day before since I didn’t …

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Girl’s Night In

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church, community, crafts, discipleship, DIY, ministry, womanhood

Every other month (or so) I try to do what I call “Girl’s Night In” with the girls in our youth group and the college group at church.  It’s a time for them to get to know each other and hang out in an informal setting and also to do something fun and crafty!
{The background}
Growing up, I had an aunt who taught me how to sew, crochet, bake, garden…etc.  Even though I came from a great home with a wonderful mom, I am so thankful for these simple skills and the time my aunt spent teaching them to me.
{The reason}
It’s amazing to me that as women, we overlook the necessity of teaching those younger than us how to be women who are wives, mothers, homemakers, mentors, and friends.  If you don’t think it’s important-go to the bookstore.  There are a lot of other people out there who think it’s important…and they are making money telling others how to do it.
It’s not just about knowing how to change a diaper, or cook a chicken, or praying for your (future or current) spouse; but it isn’t less than that, either!
All these actions paint a picture of our spiritual lives.  Our relationship with God is manifested in our relationships with those around us.  How I treat my husband is a representation of how I view and trust God in my life.  How I raise and respond to my kids shows what I believe about God’s promises and character.  The way I keep my house and receive guests and spend my money are all expressions of where my faith in God has led me.

The priority I put on discipling and investing in those around me is a direct representation of what I know and believe and am willing to obey about the Gospel.  If I can’t be faithful in the little things (and it’s all little things at this point in my life), why would God give me bigger things (to ultimately screw up)?

mornings in life

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family, life, motherhood, perspective

It’s definitely not the easiest thing to be home with a toddler all morning (let alone all day).  Often I’m reminded of the quote,

how you spend your days is how you spend your life

There is a lot of truth there–and it’s a little depressing, to be completely honest!  Is this really my life? Cheerios and Elmo? Dishes and laundry? Diapers and no showers?! Well, for a season, it is.  But I think it needs a little perspective.

I am beyond blessed to have a baby who started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old.  Even now (at 17 months) she sleeps anywhere from 9 to 11 hours .
Our days usually start around 8:30 am (be jealous).  Jovie doesn’t cry in the morning any more; we wake up and hear her in her crib playing and talking with her stuffed animals.  We “make it bright” by opening the curtain and she’ll look out the window and say good morning.
After a diaper change we come downstairs and Jovie helps me grind coffee  and turn the coffee maker on.  She loves pushing buttons.  Then she’ll either get a cup of almond milk or juice with water while I pour cereal for us.  She’s getting pretty good at using a spoon, something she wanted to do after watching us (although half the time she just holds the spoon in one hand and shovels cheerios in her mouth with the other).
We don’t have TV service, so I get Sesame Street dvds when I find them for $5 or less.  I’ll usually put one on while she’s having breakfast.  I think this will help when baby #2 is here.  This also gives my husband and me some time to have our coffee and do our morning devotionals.
After cereal, she gets a bowl of fruit, usually grapes or strawberries.
Then comes play time! Jovie would spend all day outside if she could, but between the heat and me being 7 months pregnant…yeah, not happening.  So we do puzzles and sort through toys, putting them in one container and transferring them to another.   Jovie likes to go through the tupperware in the kitchen, and then she pulls all her books off the shelf.  We color sometimes, but that usually results in crayons everywhere (including her mouth) so we limit that activity.
One of her favorite things to do is look at pictures, so part of our morning will be spent naming family members that grace our fridge or watching slideshows on the computer (with daddy).
I really can’t wait until the weather cools down a bit- we will be outside all morning then (if for no other reason than it makes for a wonderful nap time)!

You see, my life isn’t “wasted” (or even wanting) because I’m not doing what I want, or what society deems “productive”.  I’m raising a human being; shaping a mind and soul that will one day (soon, I hope) make rational and relational decisions.  I am doing the most important job in the world!
And even though right now I’m watching her pull all the tissues out of the box and wipe down her puzzle (she’s so helpful)…and put the shredded tissues back (sigh); I know I will look back on these days and be thankful I had the grace and patience (most of the time) to invest wholeheartedly in this little life that has been entrusted to me for this time.